Saturday, 27 July 2013

Prince George`s Teddy Bear

Thought I would start a little fun ongoing story about being the Royal Prince George`s teddy bear. (27/7/2013) you can read my daily tweets  @PGsteddybear

My name is Gappa and I`m a special little bear, I was given to George`s mum Kate one day when she was out doing her Duchess thing. A little girl bought me hoping I`d be the Royal Baby`s special teddy bear. She was right because here I am sitting in the mosses basket with George. He is balling his eyes out and I tickle his feet to try and make him laugh. 

Kate and Wills have just told him he has to go outside and get his photo taken so the world can see him.  Really? OK then, but they can wait while he chucks up some milk and get his nappy changed.  He says he won`t open his eyes for them though, he will just stick his fingers up. Well done George, uncle Harry would approve. 

photo from flicr.

Afterwards we  arrive at this big place called Kensington Palace where we are going to live.  
There is a huge cot from this fancy shop called Harrods and lots of other toys.  George grabs my ear so I am the one who stays cuddled up to him. There are soldiers guarding the doors, and cannons firing royal salutes. Flowers and cards, toys and champagne arrive every minute. This is a busy place George, hope you can get some sleep here.
George is a very hungry baby and cries a lot for food so Will is busy making up lots of bottles.

Time now to meet the relations, this old lady comes in
I hear Wills call her granny so it must be that lady the Queen. She is very small and has this enormous crown on her head. I heard her saying George will wear the crown one day but he is so small and that crown looks really heavy. George reckons by the time he has grown up and put uncle Harry`s antics to shame they may not want him to wear that crown.
Tomorrow we are going out in the car to his other grannies house, George says this one will boss his mum about but Grandpa Middleton doesn`t talk to the plants like Grandpa Charles.

We went out in the pram today around granny Middletons garden. Lupo the dog met us too, George likes him but I`m scared of him he could easily  tear out my stuffing. Hope Kate has trained him not to attack this teddy bear.
David Beckham is coming tomorrow with his wife, Wills says he will be a knight soon so he maybe one of George`s godfathers.  Kate says no way, he will end up putting the photos on a advertising board to earn a few more million.

Going to meet the boggy eyed princesses tomorrow and great uncle Andrew. Hope Sarah isn`t about because I have heard she puts cheeky teddy bears in baths full of ice, then pulls off their toes.

More tomorrow.

Sunday today and aunty Pippa is here, she is cooing over George and saying what she will wear to his christening. Not a tight dress that shows off your butt, mutters George, it will be my day not yours. George says he will banish her to the tower when he is older and she can take all those party pieces with her. George has just realised he is going to be know as PG (prince George) by most people. No no no isn`t that the name of some teabags!! what were his mum and dad thinking. George said he will cry for a year to pay them back for that one.

Saturday 3rd August 2013

George is getting very big now and is sleeping better and everyone is happy about that! How silly are people though, we just heard that the little wrap blanket george had on leaving hospital sold out in minutes. So many people wanted it they crashed the website.  Strange! can you imagine what people will be like when they see PG pram.

Wills played Polo today, I am not surprised he wanted to get away from the mar-in-law, who wouldn`t.

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Survey Rant!


Why does everyone want a survey completed these days?


I was in the bank for two minutes today and I was told that because I had used the counter services, it would trigger an automated phone call were I could then complete a customer satisfaction survey. I was to press one for very satisfied etc.

Really! wow I was actually served by a real person and for that I am expected to give a glowing report on how the staff member was kind, attentive seemed happy in their job, the enviroment was pleasant blah blah blah.  For goodness sake what a load of rubbish! people will either put the phone down or just press number 1 repeatedly.  Useful things then surveys we can now add surveys at the end of ``there are lies, damned lies, stats and surveys.``

When I left school and worked in a large department store a manager patrolled the shop floor making sure we gave great customer service, otherwise you were sacked. Maybe the banks wouldn`t lose millions if they had that approach today.

Council Office

Go into a council office and a machine shows you a traffic light system of faces to give customer feedback. Red for we need to improve, amber for we could do better and green for we got it right.  Well what if I kick the damn machine and leave a note saying I`d don`t like the idea that they bought you in the first place! it is our money that paid for it after all.

Eating out

Along with the cutlery comes the survey flyer, yes I might win £200 in voucher or a free meal but then I probably won`t.

Night Out

Bought a ticket for a concert, theatre, cinema, bungee jump off the Shard ? Notice the survey that comes in 24 hours after your event. How was your night, did we do well? 

Actually no you didn`t do well! you provided a service I paid for, end of it please.

I am a comper I expect email surveys but that is part of the comping world. Fill this in and you might win some vouchers. I accept that sort of survey and usually just delete them.

In every aspect of any kind of `service` now though you are being asked to complete a survey, it is passive bullying if you ask me. We are getting so used to this `feedback` expectation that I doubt we even notice anymore we are our giving email address, dob, gender, income to name but a few details that are requested.


Visited your GP in the last year? fill in this survey please it is detailed and will help us provide a better service. Really? how can a survey help provide better service when what is needed is better opening times, more doctors, less waiting and a doctor who has the time of day for you. Everyone already knows this it has probably been written on thousands of surveys. Not changed a thing though.

I will stop ranting now so could you please just fill in a short survey at the bottom of this post to say how well I did.  Please leave all your details and your phone number so I can get our automated machines to phone you when you are having you dinner or are in the bath.

Tags survey, dining out, events, tickets, humour.